Some of my Favortie Customer Stories

As all of you know, I am a bank teller. With any job I’m sure all of you have your share of funny stories about your patients, students, customers, fellow employees and etc. well after two years of being a teller, I have a fair share of stories and I would like to share some of my favorites.

One day a lady drives up at my drive-thru. Like a lot of customers, the lady asked for her balance of her checking account. So I send her balance out and she looks at it and says “that’s way too much.” After thinking about the balance for awhile she then asks me if I could tell her what checks had not cleared yet. Well of course I am not going to know what checks have not cleared yet because I have no clue what checks you have written. So I try to explain to the lady that I would not have any clue what checks have not cleared, so what is her response? “Why don’t you know, you are the teller.” Well yes lady I’m a TELLER not a PSYCHIC, so I’m sorry I don’t know what checks you have written and people have not cashed. After a few minutes of me explaining this too her and with her not understand what I was saying she finally drives off. Sorry lady, next time I will work on my psychic abilities for you.


One day an old lady came thru the drive-thru. Like lots of customers, this lady had her little dog with her and the dog was super excited. The lady didn’t seem like she was too fond of the dog and she kept slapping at the dog to get him down from her window. But that didn’t stop the dog. As soon as the lady starts to drive off, what does the dog do? Jumps out of the old lady’s window and takes off. What does the lady do? Pulls off and stops for like 30 seconds and then drives off. Where is the dog? Running around the gas station parking lot that is beside us. What am I doing? Hanging out the window trying to get the dog to come back in our parking lot. After about 10 minutes of me and another teller hanging out the window yelling for that dog, one of our customers grab the dog and brings her inside. I look up the old lady’s phone number, figuring I would just have to leave a message, since I knew she wouldn’t go home without her dog, but to my amazement she answers the phone like nothing had happen. I tell her we have her dog and need her to come get him and after a lot of consideration it seemed like the old lady agreed and came and picked up her dog.


A scruffy man walks up to my counter one day, puffing away on his cigarette. Yes, inside the bank. I was so shocked at what I was seeing I didn’t even say anything because I was in disbelief of what I was seeing.


One lady came in on a Monday morning and told me about the broil on her rear-end that came up over the weekend. And how she soaked it and put cream on it, but nothing helped. So finally her husband took her to the hospital at 3 in the morning. And as that was not bad enough. She then continued to tell me that the doctor said there was nothing he could do about it until it came to a head and then he would have to suck the puss out of it. Omg, did you really need to tell your bank teller that information and especially in a lobby full of people.


So it continues with another rear-end story. A totally different customer comes in and informs me about the fisher she has. Now I don’t know if that is spelled correctly, but what I got from the conversation was that a fisher is a hole that grows in your butt crack and is very painful. She tells me how she can sit and how it is very painful to wipe after she takes a crap. She had surgery on it and she comes in after that and tells me about wrapping her butt up and blah blah blah. Well guess what? The surgery didn’t work and she has to get it done again. So what does that mean? I will get to hear all about her rear-end problems for at least another year. Lucky Me!


An older man comes to the bank at least three times a week and usually doesn’t have an outstanding balance. One day he comes in and asks if he can get $5 out of his account. I inform him that he only has a dollar in his account. So then he asks if he can get three dollars and I say you only have a dollar and so then he asks for two dollars. Haha, he ended up leaving with one dollar.

Those are just a few I could think of right off the top of my head, but I have lots more, so I might have to update. I hope they got a few little laughs.